Extensible Messaging and Presence Protocol (XMPP) is traditionally implemented in code, using XML stanzas transmitted over TCP/IP. However, such implementations lack artistic flair and are poorly suited for environments with no network connectivity but ample interpretive energy.
This XEP defines how to implement XMPP entirely through human movement. By encoding message, presence, and iq stanzas into gestures, jumps, and rhythmic flourishes, XMPP can finally achieve its destiny as both a communication protocol and a performative art form.
An interpretive XMPP implementation MUST include:
At least two dancers (a client and a server).
A dance floor of sufficient size to represent the stanza queue.
Background music approximating the rhythm of XML parsing (e.g., in 4/4 time).
Optional: audience members to act as routers, federation gateways, or emotionally confused observers.
This document expires when all participants are too exhausted to continue.
Each XMPP entity is represented by a dancer. Stanzas are represented as dance motifs. Transmission occurs when a dancer performs a motif directed toward another dancer.
<message type='chat'> - A gentle twirl followed by direct eye contact.
<message type='groupchat'> - The dancer spins outward, gesturing inclusively toward all other dancers.
<message type='error'> - Collapse to the floor dramatically.
<message type='headline'> - A short, declarative arm thrust followed by stillness.
<presence/> - A calm, open posture, hands at sides.
<show>away</show> - Slow backward steps.
<show>dnd</show> - Crossed arms with stern gaze.
<show>xa</show> - Exit the dance floor entirely.
<status> - text may be mouthed silently or whispered to nearby participants.
IQ ("Inquisitive Questioning") exchanges are structured duets:
The requesting dancer performs a questioning pirouette.
The responding dancer MUST reply with a confirming nod (type='result') or a sharp refusal gesture (type='error').
Client dancer performs a graceful connect leap.
Server dancer bows, acknowledging the stream start.
Client sends <auth/> by extending both hands in supplication.
Server replies with <success/> by raising one arm triumphantly.
Both dancers proceed into a spontaneous <message/> exchange sequence until network fatigue sets in.
Note: The dance steps illustrated in the example session are non-normative and provided for demonstrative purposes only. Implementers MUST NOT assume that pirouettes, leaps, or interpretive hand-flutters described herein correspond to any formally defined XMPP stanzas, nor that they are executable by untrained engineers. The XSF recognizes that different implementations MAY employ alternative gestures, including but not limited to jazz hands, body rolls, or small interpretive shrugs. Such variations are considered interoperable provided all participants agree on tempo and dramatic intent.
All communication occurs via line-of-sight. Dancers MUST NOT rely on TCP/IP, though rhythmic clapping MAY be used as an unreliable transport layer for synchronization.
Gestures SHOULD be culturally sensitive. For example, <presence type='subscribe'/> should not involve invasive proximity in cultures where personal space is highly valued.
End-to-end encryption MAY be achieved by performing in total darkness.
TLS handshakes can be mimed by elaborate finger-interlocking rituals.
SASL negotiation involves mutual nodding until both dancers feel emotionally authenticated.
This document requires no interaction with the Internet Assigned Numbers Authority (IANA)The Internet Assigned Numbers Authority (IANA) is the central coordinator for the assignment of unique parameter values for Internet protocols, such as port numbers and URI schemes. For further information, see <http://www.iana.org/>.. Attempting to assign a formal IANA registry entry to gestures, pirouettes, or dramatic pauses would likely result in specification drift, spontaneous applause, or outright audience revolt. IANA involvement is therefor unnecessary, and frankly, unsafe.
Upon advancement of this document to a status of Draft, the XMPP RegistrarThe XMPP Registrar maintains a list of reserved protocol namespaces as well as registries of parameters used in the context of XMPP extension protocols approved by the XMPP Standards Foundation. For further information, see <https://xmpp.org/registrar/>. includes the following namespace in its registry of protocol namespaces (see <https://xmpp.org/registrar/namespaces.html>):
urn:xmpp:dance:0
Upon advancement of this document to a status of Draft, the XMPP RegistrarThe XMPP Registrar maintains a list of reserved protocol namespaces as well as registries of parameters used in the context of XMPP extension protocols approved by the XMPP Standards Foundation. For further information, see <https://xmpp.org/registrar/>. shall add a category of 'dance' to its registry of service discovery identities, with one associated types: 'interpretive', described as "Entity capable of sending/receiving XMPP stanzas via physical movement rather than XML serialization."
The author would like to thank the XMPP Standards Foundation for maintaining a sense of humor, and every dancer who has ever debugged XML with their body.